After repeated extensions, Time Warner Cable yanked several channels from your cable dial today, and before you ask, you are -not- entitled to any refunds. So don’t ask. (Actually, ask anyway.)

The affected channels are:

• CBS Owned-and-Operated TV stations in the following cities:
  Los Angeles:  KCBS and KCAL-Ind.
  New York:  WCBS
  Dallas-Ft. Worth:  KTVT-CBS and KTXA-Ind.
  Boston:  WBZ-CBS and WSBK-Ind. (carried in parts of NH and MA)
  Chicago:  WBBM-CBS (carried in parts of WI)
  Denver:  KCNC-CBS (carried in Gunnison and Telluride)
  Detroit:  WKBD-CW (carried in parts of OH)
  Pittsburgh:  KDKA-CBS and WPCW-CW (carried in parts of OH)
• Showtime
• The Movie Channel (TMC)
• Flix
• Smithsonian Channel

Phillip “FAQ” Dampier

If your local CBS station is not on this list, you will still be able to watch CBS programming because the dispute only affects local stations directly owned/operated by CBS. But cable subscribers nationwide may notice the loss of the cable networks and premium movie channels, if one subscribes.

As a courtesy, Time Warner Cable has elected to throw Showtime subscribers a bone (and avoid having to pay any refunds) by turning on Starz and Encore for affected customers. (If you happen to find anything worthwhile to watch on Starz, please post a comment and let the rest of us know what we are missing.) Encore is a better choice, but customers should feel free to arrange their own “credit” by canceling Showtime until the dispute is resolved. Time Warner Cable was running a promotion offering HBO and Cinemax for $5 a month each for six months to a year. Inquire if that option is still available if you are feeling premium movie channel withdrawal.

“We deeply regret being forced into this position by CBS, but we’re prepared to stand by our customers and do what it takes to fight these unreasonable demands,” writes Time Warner Cable.

In the meantime, we’ve helped massage Time Warner’s FAQ and rubbed in some truth extract:

Q:  Dear Time Warner Cable Assassins of Joy: Now that you’ve stopped carrying the channels I am still paying for, where can I find the darn shows I’m missing?

A:   There are any number of places, including free over-the-air using an antenna, if you remember what that looks like, plus some places online for free.  In addition, in NYC only, CBS is available through Aereo, which is currently offering a one-month-free-trial at www.aereo.com. Just don’t think about dropping your entire cable television package once you discover Aereo works well enough for you and you don’t need us to delete $70 a month from your wallet and recreate it in ours. Pretty please.

Courtesy: Rich Greenfield, BTIG

For national network prime time shows:

• Visit www.CBS.com to see recent airings (mostly repeats except for Stephen King’s ‘Small Town Under Glass’) of their primetime shows. Thank us we are not capping your Internet usage, sticking it to you for watching unauthorized shows (the ones we don’t own) for free.
• In addition, many primetime programs are available via national online services like Amazon.com, Hulu.com, iTunes.com, or Netflix.com, some for free, some as part of a subscription fee that is almost always far less than the pillaging prices we charge.

For daytime soap operas if you still bother to watch those:  www.cbs.com for free

For local news, weather, and sports:  Remember that your other local broadcast stations remain available on the Time Warner Cable lineup, along with NY1/YNN in select markets (because you want to get your local news from a wholly owned Time Warner Cable news network — the one that often shills our own products). And some of the local CBS stations stream their local newscasts for free over the Internet. Again, worship us for not capping your broadband. Check your local station’s website for information.

For syndicated shows like Dr. Oz, Ellen, Katie, and others:  They are probably all repeats anyway and how many times do you need to be told you are living your life all wrong. It’s summer. Go outside. Be happy. If you insist, most of those shows share either full episodes or highlights via their own websites, for free.

For shows that appear on Showtime, or movies:  Showtime makes some episodes and clips available for free at Sho.com and at Hulu.com. Because nothing equals the experience of watching an entire show like a 30 second clip! Other episodes can be found at paid services like Amazon.com, Netflix.com, and on iTunes. So while you are still paying us for those premium movie channels, go and pay someone else too. And remember that, as a courtesy so we don’t actually have to refund your money, we are providing replacement programming from Starz and Encore on a temporary basis.  Showtime and TMC customers should look in your onscreen guide for the Starz and Encore channel numbers.

For shows on Smithsonian:  If you can find the channel on our 1,000 channel lineup, you are better than us. If you actually watched any shows on Smithsonian, you can get by with similar shows on Discovery, National Geographic, TLC, Animal Planet, and many others, as long as you steer well clear of Honey Boo Boo. She’s a national treasure too, we know, but not enough to be on the Smithsonian Channel.

Frequently Asked Questions Not Well-Answered

Q. Why is this happening?

A:  $$$. We collect, count and stack your money for the pleasure of our executives and shareholders and now other programmers dare to want some of it. We’re not going to let that happen unless you give us more than enough to replace what we’re giving them.

Q:  This kind of blackout seems to happen to Time Warner Cable all the time; Screw you, I’m going to switch to another provider.

A:   Screw you right back. Unfortunately, these kinds of blackouts have occurred more often over the past few years—last year, over 80 broadcast TV stations withheld their channels from all kinds of video providers, including cable, satellite, and telephone companies because they smell the cash we currently get to play patty-cake with.  It’s not just Time Warner Cable, silly—every provider is at risk for losing the right to carry these channels that are available for free over the air to an antenna. Because when this kind of money is involved, all sorts of hell breaks loose. Switching to another provider won’t prevent similar blackouts from happening to you in the future, and you could miss some of your favorite programming, like…  NY1 in New York City. (Really.) We’ve been raising your rates and making you pay for hundreds of channels you never watch for years. Remember, sometimes the evil you know is better than the evil you don’t. We’re talking to you AT&T U-verse.

Q:  It seems odd that CBS SportsNet is still available, when the main CBS channel isn’t.  Why is that?

A:  Wait.

Q:  I live in Los Angeles; with KCAL not available, how do I see the Dodgers games?

A:  Get your lazy butt in the car, go to the stadium and buy tickets.

Q:  I’m an NFL fan, and I’m going to miss my team’s pre-season games.  Where else can I see them?

A:   See above.

In the eyes of many entertainment executives, pressing fast forward to skip past commercials recorded by your DVR is a crime, and they want it stopped.

We’ve made progress. In the 1970s and early 1980s, those same executives were arguing recording a television show itself was a crime.

The copyright infringement wars continue, beyond college students facing ruinous lawsuits from the recording industry or movie studios sending a blizzard of subpoenas to Internet Service Providers seeking the names and addresses of those suspected of using file swapping networks.

With the increasing concentration and combination of entertainment conglomerates, the reflexive need to “control” the medium and means of distribution is gaining a receptive audience in Washington and in the courts, threatening to influence what you can and cannot do with the programming you pay to watch.

The impact is also weighing on innovative new technology from small companies like Aereo and much larger ones like Dish Network that have attempted to launch new services that challenge the conventional ways Americans watch entertainment. The result for all concerned: lawsuits designed to stifle anything the media business perceives as an imminent threat.

Dish Network has a new DVR box that can automatically skip past commercials on selected networks. The satellite company’s new “Hopper” DVR automatically records eight days’ of prime time programming from the four major American broadcast networks, analyzes the programming to find commercials, and allows subscribers to watch the recorded shows “ad-free” just hours after the original broadcast.

Major entertainment moguls immediately denounced the feature as criminal theft.

“If there were no advertising revenues, the free broadcast television model in the United States would collapse,” wrote an alarmed News Corp. (owner of FOX Broadcasting) in its complaint filed in Los Angeles federal court. That network also accuses Dish of violating their contract with FOX and copyright infringement.

“Of course, you know this means war.” — Dish’s new AutoHop feature raises the ire of the entertainment industry.

“This service takes existing network content and modifies it in a manner that is unauthorized and illegal,” CBS said in a prepared statement, echoing earlier statements that have historically argued recording, modifying, or re-purposing broadcast content in any way is automatically a violation of federal law, copyright, or the terms and conditions under which the network makes programming available for viewing.

NBC and ABC filed their own complaints against the technology as well.

Technically speaking, subscribers who pay a cable or satellite provider for television programming are already paying extra for the programming they are watching, negating the usual arguments commercial sponsorship covers the cost of watching “free TV” (that isn’t always free) and skipping commercials is the same as stealing.

Commercial television business models in the United States increasingly rely on “retransmission consent” fees — money paid by your satellite, cable, or phone company to the programmer for permission to carry a channel on their lineup. Virtually all of those fees are passed along to consumers as part of their monthly bill.

Some station owner groups are willing to play extreme hardball to get viewers to pay up -and- win the right to put a piece of tape over their fast forward buttons to keep them from skipping commercials on their stations.

Dallas-based Hoak Media is an example. Viewers in Panama City, Fla. were without WMBB-TV, the Hoak-owned ABC affiliate, on Dish Network for a week. Hoak Media pulled the plug on viewers earlier this month after Hoak demanded a 200% increase in retransmission consent payments and the disabling of Dish’s AutoHop commercial-skipping technology. Thirteen other Hoak stations around the country were also pulled off the satellite TV service.

“WMBB and Hoak don’t respect customer control — they are telling customers they must watch commercials,” Dave Shull, senior vice president of programming for Dish, said in a news release. “Channel skipping has been around since the advent of the remote and we think Hoak has taken an incredibly hostile stance toward their viewers.”

WMBB’s station management appeared caught off guard by their owners back in Dallas. WMBB General Manager Terry Cole admitted he didn’t even know about the AutoHop feature Hoak was demanding be disabled. A week later, the dispute appeared settled and the stations were back on Dish.

Entertainment executives are hopeful their deep pockets and industry partnerships with content distributors will ultimately win the day. They have a few things they can count in their corner.

In 2002, some of the same companies protesting Dish filed suit against ReplayTV, which had its own automated commercial skipping technology. The case dragged its way through the courts, with mounting legal expenses eventually forcing ReplayTV out of business. Problem solved.

The use of deep pockets have also intimidated other innovative ventures such as Aereo, which delivers over-the-air New York City stations online to a paying local subscriber base.

Innovation like that is also a concern to the cable industry, which itself has been around since the 1970s. Developing an online alternative to the local cable company puts cable TV executives in the same position entertainment industry executives live to fear: a threat to the business model that has earned billions in profits. In those terms, some cable operators seem willing to support the entertainment industry, even at the expense of their own customers.

That may explain why Time Warner Cable applied for, and won, their own patent for technology that disables fast-forward functionality on digital video recorders.

“Advertisers may not be willing to pay as much to place advertisements if they know that users may fast forward through the advertisement and thus not receive the desired sales message,” the cable company explains in its patent application. “Content providers may not be willing to grant rights in their content, or may want to charge more, if trick modes are permitted.”

The technology would look for digitally embedded cue tones, which are today used mostly to let local stations and cable operators insert their own local advertising messages on a network feed, to block fast forwarding past those ads.

Time Warner Cable is not likely to implement the technology anytime soon, not if they expect customers to continue to pay well over $10 a month for a recording device that won’t allow them to skip commercials.

Comcast is taking a different approach, considering plans to insert billboard advertising messages that automatically appear on-screen whenever a customer hits their fast-forward button. Broadcasters and networks have no love for that feature either, claiming it changes the programming the consumer recorded and represents… yes, copyright infringement.

Courts will once again have to find a balance between consumers’ home recording rights and the rights of large entertainment and cable companies. With more courts increasingly favorable to the notion of corporate rights enjoying equal prominence with those of citizens, who ultimately wins the right to your fast forward button remains a toss-up.