The Don’t Care Bears

While regulators contemplate forcing 11 million Time Warner Cable customers to endure the hell on earth that is Comcast customer service, another horror story emerged this week from a California man who faced $181.94 more on his cable bill than he expected, all because of a service call to check on an Internet service problem that turned out to be Comcast’s fault.

While Time Warner Cable customers usually get an American customer call center to handle these problems, Comcast relies on English-challenged, underpaid offshore customer care dens staffed by “screen readers” that refuse to go off-script to handle the problems of Comcast customers like Tim Davis.

Before digging into the specifics of Davis’ $182 debacle, The Consumerist noted a critical admission from the Comcast call center agent – a word to the wise about getting your complaints about Comcast’s billing errors and inaccurate charges addressed: If you don’t record all of your calls with Comcast customer service to keep a complete audible record of their promises and commitments, you have absolutely no recourse to get invalid charges and other billing mistakes removed from your bill.

“[…]Since I advised my manager that there is a recording and you were misinformed, then she’s the one who can approve that $82,” said Comcast’s customer service representative.

Seemingly flabbergasted, Davis asks to confirm, “You’re telling me that if I didn’t have a recording of that call, you wouldn’t have been able to do it?”

“Yes, that is correct,” answers the rep, confirming that the only way to get Comcast to erase a bogus charge from your account is to have recorded evidence that you were promised in advance that the call would be free.

Davis decided to turn his Comcast nightmare into a NSFW YouTube video.

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‘You want a service credit? Who the heck do you think you’re talking to. This is Vasee – Employee 5#$ at Comcast’s English-challenged offshore customer call center. We don’t do service credits. Oh wait, you have a recording?’ (Only Comcast would put $$$-signs in the ID numbers of their employees.) (Warning: Strong Language) (13:56)

Although initially promised there would be no charge for the service call because it was an “outside issue,” when Davis’ monthly Comcast bill arrived, there were several mystery charges totaling $181.94 for service call work that Davis said was never done.

The charges represent a “failed video self-install kit,” a “failed Internet self-install kit,” and a wireless network set up charge for work Davis claims was neither sought or provided. Comcast automatically credited back the Wi-Fi setup fee and a portion of the other charges, still leaving Davis with $82 in fees to argue about for a “free service call.”

The representative insisted that Comcast charges $50 for every service call for any reason. That will be unpleasant news to Time Warner Cable customers who pay no fees for service calls that address technical issues that are not the fault of customers.

The Consumerist details the rest of the painful experience:

After being put on hold for an hour, Davis hung up and tried again, this time reaching a supposed “supervisor,” who points out that the $49.95 WiFi setup charge is offset by a $49.95 “service discount,” so that’s free… even though it shouldn’t have been charged to begin with.

She also says there is a $49.99 discount on the supposed “Failed Self Install,” meaning Davis is being charged $50 for the nonexistent failed install, plus the remaining $32 for the failed self-install kit charge. A total of $82 that is still being disputed at this point.

She then offers to give him “BLAST+” Internet service for 12 months free of charge instead of simply taking off the remainder of the questionable charges. This semi-upgrade only has a retail value of $60, meaning he’d still be on the hook for $22 for a call that he’d been told would be free.

Davis, understandably, doesn’t want a cheap Internet service upgrade spread out over 12 months. He wants and asks to have the full $82 refunded.

The rep balks, saying she can’t issue him the credit because it is a “valid charge.”

“Every time we send out a technician there’s a $50 charge for that,” she explains.

“Well, I have a call recorded where the agent tells me in no uncertain terms that there will be no charge,” counters Davis. “You can not bill me for something that I did not authorize. You can not tell me that it’s free, then bill me anyway and then tell me that you can not un-bill me or credit me for the bill.”

“I apologize for that, but there’s no way that I can credit the account,” says the rep, desperately trying to jump back on to her script. “We value you as a customer, that’s why I am trying to check what I can give you.”

As soon as Davis produced the recording that indicated there would be no charge, a senior supervisor quickly approved a credit — several calls and hours later.

The French Revolution in wireless could be spreading across the United States if Paris-based Iliad is successful in its surprise $15 billion bid to acquire T-Mobile USA (right out from under Sprint and Japan-based Softbank). Wall Street hopes it isn’t true.

If you named one wireless carrier in the world guaranteed to provoke groans, sweat, and Excedrin headaches from powerful wireless industry executives living high on 40%+ annual margins, Iliad and its notorious Free Mobile would be the chief provocateur. Initially dismissed as an irrelevant upstart (much like T-Mobile itself) when it announced service on a less-robust network in 2012, as soon as Free Mobile announced its groundbreaking prices, panic was rife in the boardrooms and executive suites of competitors Orange, SFR and Bouygues Telecom, who couldn’t slash their own prices fast enough.

As one wireless executive in Paris put it, when Free Mobile launched, “the tsunami hit.”

In short order, Free Mobile has taken nearly five million of their competitors’ very profitable customers in France, mostly from its vicious price-cutting that results in rates half that of any other competitor.

Orange and other carriers promptly announced slashed shareholder dividend payouts and implemented cost-saving measures after being forced to cut pricing.

American wireless executives visiting Europe were aghast at the prices charged by the French upstart, suggesting they were reckless and would eliminate necessary investment in upgrades. Although France has been behind the United States in launching 4G service upgrades, French customer satisfaction with their wireless service is higher than in the U.S., and Free Mobile has the lowest customer loss (churn) rate of any carrier in France.

Iliad’s reputation as a nasty competitor is fine with self-made billionaire CEO Xavier Niel, who has become extremely wealthy selling cutting edge, yet affordable, telecommunications products without losing touch of his more modest roots. But he is reviled by most of his competitors for disrupting the comfortable wireless service business models his competitors have maintained for years. Niel has thrown marketing bombs into every sector of the French telecom market, ruthlessly cutting prices for customers while relying on in-house innovations to keep costs low.

[flv]http://www.phillipdampier.com/video/Euronews Telecoms turmoil in France 2012.mp4[/flv]

Euronews reported on the turmoil Iliad caused incumbent wireless carriers when it forced them to respond with major price-cuts to stay competitive. (0:44)

Free’s customer care center is run on Ubuntu-based, inexpensive notebook and desktop computers. Free’s wired broadband, television, and phone service is powered by set-top boxes and network devices custom-developed inside Iliad to keep costs down. Its creative spirit has been compared to Google, much to the chagrin of its “business by the book” competitors.

“It’s not done like this,” is a common refrain heard when Free Mobile announces more price cuts, an easing of usage caps, or completely free add-ons.

Today, a typical Free Mobile customer pays $26.75US a month for wireless service which includes:

• Unlimited calls to France and 100 other destinations, including the U.S., Canada, China, and all French overseas departments (eg. Guadeloupe, Tahiti, Mayotte, etc.);
• Unlimited SMS/text messages;
• Unlimited MMS messages to French numbers;
• 20GB of 4G access before the speed throttle kicks in;
• Unlimited free Wi-Fi on Free’s extensive Wi-Fi network.

A Free Mobile customer that also subscribes to Free’s wired broadband or television service gets an even bigger discount. Their monthly wireless bill for the same features? $21.40US a month.

Niel said the reason he has not brought the Free Mobile brand to the United States is because the wireless industry here is highly anti-competitive. The fact T-Mobile USA is now up for sale represents ‘the opportunity of a lifetime,’ a “one-time opportunity to enter the world’s-largest telecoms market,” a person familiar with the matter said prior to the announcement.

“The competitive landscape in the U.S. is a lot less aggressive than what we are used to in France,” added Niel. “There is enormous potential. It is almost too good to be true.”

A number of Wall Street analysts who prefer the current business model of high cost/high profits are keeping their fingers crossed the Iliad offer is just a pipe dream. Some, including analysts on Bloomberg TV, dismissed Niel as a former pornographer and suggested “for the guppies, it is whale season,” a reference to Iliad’s small size relative to T-Mobile USA.

“To say this is surprising is something of an understatement; it is one of the most bizarre bits of potential M&A we have ever witnessed in the sector,” said analysts from Espirito Santo in a note to investors.

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Some on Wall Street are mocking the deal as a guppy hoping to swallow a whale. T-Mobile is considerably larger than Iliad, says CNBC. “It’s preposterous. Who put them up to it?” (6:18)

“Iliad is about a third of the size of T-Mobile US, and we don’t think there would be synergies from the deal,” said Jonathan Chaplin, an analyst at New Street Research, in a note. “It would be tough to finance without Xavier Neil relinquishing control. Sprint and anyone else with synergies should be able to outbid them.”

Should Free Mobile enter the United States, its cutthroat pricing would make CEO John Legere’s “bad wireless boy” campaign to make T-Mobile the “uncarrier” quaint in comparison. Every wireless carrier in the U.S. could be forced to cut rates by one-third or more to stay competitive should Niel adopt a similar business model for Free Mobile in the U.S. market.

Some worry that Softbank’s bid to merge Sprint and T-Mobile together has just become even less likely with the possibility of a new player in the U.S. market, competing against three other carriers, not two as the Softbank deal proposes.

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CNBC spoke with Nik Stanojevic, equity analyst at Brewin Dolphin, who was surprised Iliad threw in a bid for T-Mobile, but believes Softbank/Sprint’s deal to acquire T-Mobile has very little chance getting by regulators. (2:40)

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CNN broke into regular programming this morning with “Breaking News” the news network may be acquired, at least temporarily, by Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News. (2:37)

Rupert Murdoch is grasping for Time Warner (Entertainment).

Rupert Murdoch usually gets what he wants. What he wants now is Time Warner (Entertainment), but he will have to pay a lot to get it.

This morning, Time Warner went public with its rejection of Murdoch’s opening bid of $80 billion, made through 21st Century Fox. That represents a 20% premium for Time Warner shareholders, but executives at the entertainment company that owns HBO, Cinemax, CNN and Turner Broadcasting delivered a firm “no” in response, calling Murdoch’s bid too low.

Although initially rebuffed, many believe the tenacious Murdoch will be back until he wears down Time Warner’s board.

“Rupert Murdoch is not going away,” said Porter Bibb, managing partner at Mediatech Capital Partners. “He’s going to keep upping the price until he gets it.”

Some analysts speculate the magic number will be somewhere in the $100 billion range, despite the fact sources tell CNN that Time Warner really prefers remaining independent.

In light of the recent frenzy of mergers among telecom entities, some believe Time Warner made a major mistake when it spun off its cable properties in 2009 to become wholly independent Time Warner Cable, which today has nothing to do with Time Warner itself. At the time it decided to part ways with its cable systems, the company was still restructuring itself after the failure of the 2000 AOL-Time Warner merger deal, which took years to completely unwind. While the early 2000s saw media consolidation as an important priority, the inability to properly monetize the joint assets of super-sized conglomerates made spinoffs more fashionable.

Time Warner effectively sold off its in-house distribution platform: Time Warner Cable systems that could be easily convinced to carry every Time Warner-owned network. Comcast didn’t and has become a larger content and distribution company because of its ownership interests in cable networks and its acquisitions like NBC and Universal Studios.

Comparing the two models today, many Wall Street analysts believe Comcast’s vision that bigger is better is probably the right one, especially as cable television faces new competitive threats from online video.

Murdoch clearly believes that, and Bibb speculates Murdoch’s interest in Time Warner is really all about HBO.

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Bloomberg News talked with Porter Bibb, managing partner at Mediatech Capital Partners, who believes Rupert Murdoch would buy all of Time Warner just to get his hands on HBO. (6:29)

“It’s really now HBO that’s the driver, and I think that’s the Holy Grail that Rupert had his eye on,” said Porter Bibb, managing partner at Mediatech Capital Partners, said in a Bloomberg News radio interview. “It’s a huge money-maker with a huge potential. And probably the only Netflix killer that’s in the world right now.”

Fox and its advisers value HBO, the home of “Game of Thrones” and “Girls,” at more than $20 billion, said one person familiar with the negotiations.

HBO GO, HBO’s online streaming platform, is currently hamstrung by content companies imposing restrictions to make sure the online video service is only sold to HBO premium channel subscribers. Nobody can buy HBO GO a-la-carte. But the TV Everywhere-like service is wildly popular with subscribers, some who use it more than they actually watch HBO on linear television. Combining HBO’s coveted content with Fox’s deeper movie and television show library could deliver significant competition to Netflix and Amazon’s video offerings. Murdoch’s media empire is global, opening the door to an international streaming video service.

In short, Rupert Murdoch wants HBO so badly, he’s willing to buy all of Time Warner, Inc. to get it.

“If they succeed, if Rupert gets Time Warner, what he’s got is HBO and Warner Brothers and that’s it,” Bibb said. “He doesn’t need another movie studio. 21st Century Fox is doing great right now. It’s HBO.”

To avoid political landmines, the owner of Fox News Channel said he is willing to spin-off CNN to avoid perceptions that his favored conservative news channel would now control the second largest cable news network. But Murdoch would also effectively control three broadcast television networks if the deal succeeds — FOX, the CW, and MyNetworkTV. Admittedly the latter two lack significant audiences and don’t produce any news or public affairs programming, but they can have influence over their choice of local broadcast affiliates, some who still produce local news, especially in larger cities.

If a deal is reached, four giant media conglomerates will have control over 90 percent of American media.

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The Wall Street Journal notes this kind of media consolidation would never have been possible just a decade or two ago. But does another media mega-merger even make sense? A lot of those on Wall Street believe it does. (5:23)

Do you remember that high school love that killed you when they decided it was time to move on? You begged, you pleaded for them to change their mind to no avail. Nothing you said made any difference.

Some people never get over that teenage tragedy… and then they go to work for Comcast’s customer retention department indefatigably browbeating departing customers in a misguided effort to salvage damaged relationships with the cable company.

Stop the Cap! reader Bryan shares with us several minutes of the Block family’s life they’ll never get back. After 10 minutes on the phone repeatedly requesting to cancel Comcast service, Block and his wife decided to record the ongoing absurdity to share with the world. The result is eight more minutes of cringing embarrassment as an increasingly exasperated retention representative repeatedly demands to know why they want to leave.

It all sounds like eavesdropping on your roommate’s breakup with their boyfriend. Or leaving a cult. This guy just can’t understand what the heck you were thinking when you decided Comcast was no longer right for you. Block was in no mood to explain himself, but for the benefit of others, we’d love to arm you with a few reasons to explain why you don’t want anything more to do with Comcast:

“Being that we are the number one provider of Internet and TV service in the entire country, why is that you are not wanting to have the number one rated Internet service available,” the retention rep demanded to know.

Our answer: Because you want to cap our broadband experience, you charge outrageous prices for renting a cable modem, and your speed claims mean nothing if we don’t actually get those speeds because of yet another outage or service problem.

“So you’re not interested in the fastest Internet in the country,” Comcast’s rep asks.

Our answers: Sure I am, which is why I am switching to the fiber competitor that delivers those speeds -0r- Not if you are putting a usage cap on me. Who wants a Ferrari they are told can’t be driven beyond the block?

“You don’t want something that works? …So why don’t you want something that’s good service and something that works,” asks Comcast’s rep.

Our answer: Do you actually subscribe to Comcast yourself? You guys didn’t win Worst Company in America honors for nothing.

“I’m really ashamed to see you go to something that can’t give you what we can,” argues the rep.

Our answer: That’s right. My long ongoing nightmare of bad service, high prices, and usage capped Internet is finally over. See ya.

If you really want Comcast to convince you to stay, tell them you want a permanent waiver in writing from any usage limits and/or overlimit fees. Demand aggressive discounts that deliver real savings, and never take their first offer. If they can waste 18 minutes of Ryan Block’s time, you can be just as ruthless when demanding a better deal for yourself.

As Ryan indicates, this retention representative is the perfect example of how Comcast won its reputation as one of most hated companies in America.

If that one hour show you just watched online seemed to take an hour and ten minutes to watch, you are not dreaming.

Some cable operators are loading up on forced advertising that interrupts the viewing experience and delivers a withering blast of ads in numbers that exceed what you would see on traditional television.

“We watched TNT’s “The Last Ship” last week,” said Rich Greenfield from BTIG Research. “The first 15 minutes were ad-free, that was awesome. The problem is the last 30 minutes of the show is interspersed with 20 minutes of ads, many of them the same ad, and sometimes the ad even plays continuously back to back to back.”

Greenfield believes cable companies like Comcast are trying to enforce the worst of television from five to ten years ago — an ever-increasing advertising load you can’t skip past that cuts into the time available for programs.

“I just think that is really hard to push on consumers,” Greenfield said, noting that many have left traditional linear television for Netflix, Amazon, and the increasingly popular time-shifting DVR, which lets viewers record shows and skip past advertising.

“If you look at online, not only is the ad load not skippable, we are even seeing ad loads that are heavier than on TV itself,” Greenfield added.

[flv]http://www.phillipdampier.com/video/Tackiest Lawyer Commercial Ever.mp4[/flv]

The consummate low-budget ad ready to interrupt Breaking Bad: Want to “get rid of that vermin you call a spouse” and “get out of that hell hole you call a marriage?” Don’t “give thousands of dollars to some piece of crap wearing a three-piece suit downtown” or another $25 to that “illiterate boob” at the courthouse who gave you the wrong forms. No, choose Divorce-EZ or DivorceDeli.com! Click or call today. (1 minute)

Greenfield

On-demand, online viewing is not limited by the same time constraints traditional broadcast television is, so a show that runs 59:30 with ads on NBC increasingly takes an hour and five minutes to watch online because of the increasing number of ads.

Greenfield believes increasing ad loads will only drive consumers away from cable’s online TV Everywhere services.

“That is the mistake they are making,” Greenfield said. “They are either driving you to Netflix, they are driving you to piracy, or they are driving you to use a DVR, but they are making you not want to watch traditional television on these online apps.”

“Video advertising online has no reason to be identical to television,” Greenfield said. “What you see now on these TV Everywhere experiences, whether it is the TNT app or the XFINITY app, all of them are replicating the advertising experience of television versus rethinking how would you trade your time — would I give you information or interact in some interesting way — beyond the traditional car driving around the mountain-30 second spot.”

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Richard Greenfield from BTIG Research appears on CNBC to expose just how bad cable’s TV Everywhere experience has become, mired in bad ads. (3:06)