Consumer Reports has unveiled its second annual Naughty & Nice Holiday List, a compilation of companies who deliver more than they promise, or stick their customers with a lump of customer service coal.

Among telecommunications providers, the consumer magazine is slamming Verizon Wireless for its gouge-you-now, tell-you-about-it-later “early warning system” that is supposed to notify customers before they exceed their arbitrary data plan limits.  Verizon can’t let a little customer service get in the way of making a ton of money on extortionist overlimit fees for customers who dare to use too much:

The company tells the Federal Communications Commission that it voluntarily provides ample warning to customers who seem about to exceed their monthly allotment of minutes, messages, or data, so a mandatory rule that would make it issue such alerts isn’t necessary. But we caught Verizon doing — and admitting to — something else. Two staffers who are Verizon customers recently were notified only after they went over their allotment, at which time the company tried to upsell them to a pricier plan. When contacted by our reporter, a company spokesman acknowledged that its voluntary alert system isn’t always reliable. But it now looks like better protection from “bill shock” is on its way. Under a mid-October deal with the FCC, members of CTIA – The Wireless Association, a trade group representing 97 percent of wireless carriers, agreed to begin issuing alerts of impending overages. Full implementation of the alert system could take until April 2013.

That represents at least a year-long Money Party for Big Red, which began enforcing its idea of an “appropriate amount” of usage earlier this year.  Green, silver and gold are not just for the holidays at VZW.

SiriusXM‘s customer service don’t-care-bears also come in for a spanking. On top of hold times that can rival a typical workday, customers who don’t trust the satellite radio company with their credit card number pay a price for their wariness – a $2 monthly bill fee:

If a subscriber wants to receive a bill in the mail and pay by check (the old-fashioned way), he or she will get socked with a $2 surcharge every month. The penalty can be avoided if the customer gives Sirius credit-card information and elects to be billed electronically on a recurring basis.

While AT&T breathes a sigh of relief they are not on the naughty list this year, Cablevision is pleasantly surprised to find themselves with a nice stocking stuffer courtesy of CR.

Telecom companies are a frequent target of consumer displeasure, but this industry giant offers more to subscribers who sign up for its Optimum Triple Play – Internet, phone, and TV service – free movie tickets on Tuesdays and deeply discounted tickets on other days. Customers who sign up for Cablevision’s Optimum Rewards program (it’s free) also get perks like discounted popcorn and soda at participating theaters.

Considering popcorn and soda purchases at most theaters now warrant an accompanying easy financing credit application, that’s no snowjob.

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Watch Consumer Reports’ 2011 Naughty & Nice Holiday List of the good, bad, indifferent, and just plain lousy companies that want a piece of your holiday action.  (2 minutes)

AT&T pays a lot of money — millions annually — to make sure its business agenda does not run into political or legislative roadblocks in Washington, D.C.  With dozens of members of Congress effectively on AT&T’s campaign contribution payroll and the company’s unparalleled skill at convincing non-profit organizations to advocate for its interests, worrying about the government’s antitrust views on its proposed buyout of Deutsche Telekom’s T-Mobile was the least of its troubles.

“It’s a done deal,” several analysts predicted shortly after the deal was announced, especially after AT&T demonstrated its confidence level in the merger was as high as the enormous $6 billion dollar breakup concession payable to Telekom if it ever fell apart.

Then the government dared to put its two cents in, in the form of a “are you kidding me?”-lawsuit courtesy of the U.S. Department of Justice.  It seems, in the words of some Beltway cynics, the Obama Administration can manage to see a clear cut case of anti-competitive behavior when given enough time.

Since the lawsuit was announced on Aug. 31, it has been “all-hands-on-deck” for the company’s government relations division, packed full of the company’s top lobbyists.  While company lawyers desperately attempt to block what it sees as “pile on” objections and lawsuits from worried competitors, Sprint-Nextel in particular, AT&T lobbyists are trying to compromise away the Justice Department case with proposals of concessions and giveaways to make approval more palatable.

Further north, as fall turns into winter in New York’s financial district, Wall Street analysts are cold on the troubled deal themselves.

The Financial Times reports most analysts think there is now less than a 50-50 chance the merger will be completed unless the two companies agree to disgorge themselves of market share, territories, and increasing “shareholder value” that will come from eventual rate increases a wireless duopoly would inevitably bring.

Some are even less sanguine, predicting AT&T has only a 20 percent shot, and only if it sells off considerable chunks of valuable spectrum to competitors other than Verizon Wireless.

AT&T is retuning its “message” for the times, downplaying the original, ludicrous notion that urban-focused T-Mobile would be the keystone of a new era in 4G wireless service for rural America.  There is a reason T-Mobile isn’t the first choice for small town America’s cell phone buyers.

Instead, AT&T is now positioning the merger deal as a lifeboat for its troubled competitor.  AT&T suggests the number four carrier is in immediate peril — hemorrhaging customers, caught without a coherent 4G strategy, and an exodus of interest by its increasingly neglectful parent — Deutsche Telekom.

Could Time Warner Cable be an eventual part-owner of T-Mobile USA?

“Over the past two years, T-Mobile USA has been losing customers despite explosive demand for mobile broadband,” AT&T said in a statement this week. “T-Mobile USA has no clear path to 4G LTE, the industry’s next generation network, and its German parent, Deutsche Telekom, has said it would not continue to make significant investments in the United States.”

With AT&T predicting the demise of its smaller would-be cousin, consumers may not be in the mood to sign a two-year contract with a company that could soon be rechristened AT&T, especially those leaving AT&T for T-Mobile.

But don’t tell T-Mobile’s marketing department it’s a phone company on life support.  T-Mobile has beefed up its advertising and continues to irritate its larger competitors, particularly AT&T, with very aggressive pricing on its prepaid plans.

T-Mobile recently unveiled two disruptive $30 4G prepaid plans that offer either 1500 shared minutes/text messages and 30MB of data usage -or- 100 voice minutes combined with unlimited texting and up to 5GB of mobile data before the speed throttle kicks in.  Those prices are too low for AT&T and Verizon to ignore, especially when offered on a 4G network.

So far, the Justice Department shows no signs of backing down from their resolute opposition to the deal, minor concessions or not.  Shareholders may not appreciate giving the government too much of what it wants in order to win approval.  Washington lawmakers are split — virtually every Republican favors the merger, Democrats are less absolute, with most opposed.  Among those in favor, by how much is often a measure of what kind of campaign money AT&T has thrown their way.

AT&T absolutely denies they have a “Plan B” in case the merger eventually fails.  But the Times doubts that, reporting as time drags on, an alternative deal might emerge.  Some of the possibilities:

• T-Mobile USA could merge its spectrum with Dish Network, the satellite TV company, to launch a new 4G mobile operator in the USA;
• Combine forces (and spectrum) in a deal with leading U.S. cable companies like Cox, Comcast, and Time Warner Cable to launch a new cable-branded mobile operator;
• Sell or merge operations with MetroPCS, Leap Wireless’ Cricket, or one of several regional cell companies.

Perennial cable booster Craig Moffett from Sanford Bernstein predictably favors the cable solution, which would let companies offer a quad or quint-play of cable TV, wireless mobile broadband, wired broadband, phone, and cell phone service all on one bill.  It would also get the FCC off the backs of cable operators Time Warner and Comcast, who both control a total of 20MHz of favored wireless spectrum they have left unused since acquiring it at auction.  The Commission is increasingly irritated at companies who own unused spectrum at a time when the agency is trying to find additional frequencies for wireless providers.

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Bloomberg News questions AT&T’s claim its merger deal with T-Mobile will create 96,000 new jobs. [Nov. 8] (3 minutes)

AT&T customers are getting no bars in more places in the state of Connecticut as the wireless company deals with 150-200 cell towers that are either without power or were damaged by a weekend storm that brought more than 20 inches of snow to some parts of New England.  But some customers are questioning why AT&T has suffered damage to their cell tower network while other carriers report no significant damage at all.

“As of Wednesday afternoon, we still have no AT&T wireless service and it takes miles of driving to find a cell tower that is still working,” reports Sam, a Stop the Cap! reader outside of Hartford.  “My friends’ Verizon Wireless and Sprint phones work as if the storm never happened. In fact, I can’t find any Verizon customer who is impacted by the storm, but that’s sure not true with AT&T.”

On Sunday, Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy noted AT&T told state officials that 152 cell towers had been damaged by the storm and that cell phone service would likely be disrupted in some portions of the state for some time to come.  But Verizon Wireless reports outside of some power outages, they sustained absolutely no damage to any of their towers and backup generators are expected to provide uninterrupted service even in areas where extended power outages are occurring.  A Verizon spokesman reported at least 93 percent of its network was operating as of Tuesday, with most of the sporadic outages due to backup batteries depleting their stored energy before technicians arrive to fire up backup generators.

Sprint also reports only minor interruptions to its service in Connecticut, mostly due to power failures.

In most cases, extended power interruptions are responsible for cell tower service failure.  When power is restored, cell service generally is as well.  But this outage proved more extensive because AT&T’s backhaul network between towers and their own facilities was also damaged by falling tree limbs and power poles.

Residents tell the Hartford Courant AT&T has made some progress as the week wears on, with slowly improving service as towers are brought back online.

“We continue to make progress in restoring service to our customers in the wake of the recent snowstorm,” Kate McKinnon, AT&T spokeswoman for the northeast region told the newspaper. “We have deployed generators and crews across the storm-impacted areas and are working around the clock to address service issues. We also continue to work with local Connecticut utility companies as they restore commercial power to affected cell sites and facilities.”

Power utility companies have first priority in service restoration. Connecticut Light & Power reports 77 percent of their customers lost power during the snowstorm.  As of this afternoon, at least 544,000 are still waiting for power to be restored.

Phillip Dampier on USF Reform: It might have been great, it could have been a lot worse, but ultimately it turned out to be not very good.

Last week, the Federal Communications Commission unveiled their grand plan to reform the Universal Service Fund, a program originally designed to subsidize voice telephone service in rural areas deemed to be unprofitable or ridiculously expensive to serve.  Every American with a phone line pays into the fund through a surcharge found on phone bills. Urban Americans effectively subsidize their rural cousins, but the resulting access to telecommunications services have helped rural economies, important industries, and the jobs they bring in agriculture, cattle, resource extraction, and manufacturing.

The era of the voice landline is increasingly over, however, and the original goals of the USF have “evolved” to fund some not-so-rural projects including cell phone service for schools, wireless broadband in Hollywood, and a whole mess of projects critics call waste, fraud, and abuse.  For the last several years, USF critics have accused the program of straying far from its core mission, especially considering the costs passed on to ratepayers.  What originally began as a 5% USF surcharge is today higher than 15%, funding new projects even as Americans increasingly disconnect their landline service.

For at least a decade, proposals to reform the USF program to bridge the next urban-rural divide, namely broadband, have been available for consideration.  Most have been lobbied right off the table by independent rural phone companies who are at risk of failure without the security of the existing subsidy system.  Proposals that survived that challenge next faced larger phone company lobbyists seeking to protect their share of USF money, or by would-be competitors like the wireless industry or cable operators who have generally been barred from the USF Money Party.

This year, FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski finally achieved a unanimous vote to shift USF funding towards the construction and operation of rural broadband networks.  The need for broadband funding in rural areas is acute.  Most commercial providers will candidly admit they have already wired the areas deemed sufficiently profitable to earn a return on the initial investment required to provide the service.  The areas remaining without service are unlikely to get it anytime soon because they are especially rural, have expensive and difficult climate or terrain challenges to overcome, or endure a high rate of poverty among would-be customers, unable to afford the monthly cost for the service.  Some smaller independent phone companies are attempting to provide the service anyway, but too often the result is exceptionally slow speed service at a very high cost.

The new Connect America Fund will shift $4.5 billion annually towards rural broadband construction projects.  Nearly a billion dollars of that will be reserved in a “mobility fund” designated for mobile broadband networks.

The goal is to bring broadband to seven million additional households out the 18 million currently ignored by phone and cable operators.

The FCC believes AT&T will take a new interest in upgrading its rural landline networks, even as the company continues to lobby for the right to abandon them.

Unfortunately, the FCC has set the bar pretty low in its requirements for USF funding.  The FCC defines the minimum level of “broadband” they expect to result from the program — 4/1Mbps.  That’s DSL speed territory and that is no accident.  The phone companies have advocated a “less is more” strategy in broadband speed for years, arguing they can reach more rural customers if speed requirements are kept as low as possible.  DSL networks are distance sensitive.  The faster the minimum speed, the more investment phone companies need to make to reduce the length of copper wiring between their office and the customer.  Arguing 4Mbps is better than nothing has gotten them a long way in Washington, but it also foreshadows the next digital divide — urban/rural broadband speed disparity.  While large cities enjoy speeds of 50Mbps or more, rural towns will still be coping with speeds “up to” 4Mbps.

The FCC does not seem too worried, relying heavily on a mild incentive program to prod providers to upgrade their DSL service to speeds of 6/1.5Mbps.

The irony of asking AT&T to invest in an aging landline network they are lobbying to win the right to abandon is lost on Washington, and future speed upgrades for rural America from companies like Verizon are in serious doubt when they sell off their rural areas to companies like FairPoint and Frontier and leave town.

Critics of USF reform suggest the program is still stacked in favor of the phone companies, and considering the state of their copper wire networks, would-be competitors are scratching their heads.

The cable industry, in particular, is still peeved by reforms they feel leave them at a disadvantage.  Of course, Washington may simply be recognizing the fact cable companies are the least likely to wire rural America, but when they do, the service that results is often faster than what the phone company offers.  The nation’s biggest cable lobbyist — ironically also the former chairman of the FCC, Michael Powell — still feels a little abused after reading the final proposal.

“While we are disappointed in the Commission’s apparent decision to ignore its longstanding principle of competitive neutrality and provide incumbent telephone companies an unwarranted advantage for broadband support,” said National Cable & Telecommunications Association President Michael Powell, “we remain hopeful that the order otherwise reflects the pro-consumer principles of fiscal discipline and technological neutrality that will bring needed accountability and greater efficiency to the existing subsidy system.  We are particularly heartened by the Commission’s efforts to ensure that carriers are fairly compensated for completing VoIP calls.”

Wireless operators are not happy either, because the arcane requirements that come with the USF bureaucracy were written with the phone companies in mind, not them.  Small, family-owned providers find it particularly difficult to do business with the USF, if only because they don’t have the staff or time to navigate through endless documents and forms.  Phone companies do.

Your phone bill is going up.

Many consumer groups are relieved because it could have been much worse.   The FCC could have simply capitulated and adopted the phone companies’ wish-list — the ABC Plan.  Thankfully, they didn’t, but the FCC has naively left the door open to substantial rate increases for consumers by not capping the maximum annual outlay of the fund.  That follows the same recipe that invited higher phone bills and questionable subsidies awarded in an effort to justify the original USF program even after it accomplished most of its goals. Consumers may face initial rate increases of $0.50 almost immediately, and up to $2.50 a month five years from now.

The FCC, unjustifiably optimistic, suspects phone companies and other telecommunications interests won’t gouge customers with higher prices.  They predict rate increases of no more than 10-15 cents a month.  I wouldn’t take that bet and neither will consumer groups.

“We’re going to press the FCC to ensure that these are temporary increases, because history has shown that these types of costs tend to stick around and go on and on and on,” said Parul Desai, policy counsel for Consumers Union.

An even bigger question left unanswered is just how far the FCC will get into the broadband arena when it refuses to take the steps necessary to ensure it has an admission ticket.  The agency has avoided classifying broadband as a telecommunications service, an important distinction that would bolster its authority to oversee the industry.  Without it, some members of Congress, and more importantly the courts, have questioned whether the FCC has any business in the broadband business.  Just one of the many high-powered players in the discussion could test that theory in the courts, and should a judge throw the FCC’s plan out, we’ll be back at square one.

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Verizon’s chief lobbyist Tom Tauke spent a half hour last weekend on C-SPAN taking questions about USF reform and the side issues of IP Interconnection and Net Neutrality policies. Tauke supports consolidation of small phone companies into fewer, larger companies.  He also expands on his company’s lawsuit against Net Neutrality, which fortuitously (for Verizon) will he heard by the same D.C. Court of Appeals that threw out the FCC’s fines against Comcast for throttling broadband connections.  Politico’s Kim Hart participates in the questioning, which also covered wireless spectrum issues impacting Verizon Wireless, AT&T’s stumbling merger deal with T-Mobile, and Verizon’s latest lawsuit against the FCC for data roaming notification rules.  (28 minutes)

A unknown number of Verizon Wireless customers were treated to some welcome news just days before the latest iPhone arrived for sale: early upgrades worth up to $300 in return for a two-year contract extension.  The offer arrived in an e-mail message the company sent to customers like Leslie Harsh of Omaha, Neb.

“Congratulations,” it read. “You’ve earned a new phone.”

Wireless carriers often waive two year waiting periods for good customers who are itching to get their hands on a new phone, and the Harsh family jumped in the car and headed on down to several local Verizon Wireless stores in search of a new iPhone 4S.

But high demand and the pesky fine print got in the way.

The offer turned out to only be valid on phones already in-stock in local stores, and with the unprecedented demand for the latest iPhone, Harsh was initially disappointed as the Omaha World-Herald reports:

Verizon representatives at the store told Harsh that the offer worked only with phones that the store had in stock. And since Apple and its cellular partners — AT&T, Verizon and Sprint — sold more than 4 million iPhone 4S handsets combined over the weekend, it was no surprise that the store didn’t have any of her chosen phone in stock.

Harsh then asked if she could preorder the phone. No dice, Verizon representatives said. The company’s computer system wouldn’t allow it because of an agreement with Apple.

So Harsh left without a new phone, hoping to use the offer next time one of Verizon’s Omaha-area stores had an iPhone 4S in stock.

That disappointment turned to frustration when Verizon sent out another e-mail days later rescinding the offer:

“Our sincere apologies. We got a bit ahead of ourselves,” began the message, which then withdrew the offer and threw in a consolation price — 30 percent off in-store accessories some customers think are overpriced to begin with.  To add salt to the wound, Apple and Bose products were excluded from the discount.

Verizon’s apology and coupon didn’t satisfy Harsh, who spend time and gas money scouring Omaha for the newest Apple phone.  She wants Verizon to uphold the original deal, but so far, the company hasn’t agreed.

Stop the Cap! recommends customers who find themselves in such situations escalate the matter to the executive customer service level and move beyond in-store and front line employees, who are unlikely to be empowered to grant special requests.  Harsh’s upgrade request is not uncommon, and carriers often grant them to good customers.  Harsh spends over $100 a month on her Verizon plan, which puts her in good favor with the phone company.

Filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau will automatically escalate her plight to executive level customer service at Verizon.  If she indicates this situation is serious enough to end her relationship with Verizon if they do not make amends, it’s likely the company will bend if Harsh signs a two-year contract extension, especially because they gave her the idea in the first place.