(Image: Science Blogs)

While perusing the website of the chief telecom regulator in this country this afternoon, Cassandra, a rural independent telecom industry regulatory analyst, encountered into the misguided, the confused, and the tinfoil hat crowd overrunning the agency’s electronic comment submission system regarding proposed changes to the nation’s Emergency Alert System (EAS) and government policy regarding broadband regulation.

Chief among them was a public comment from a woman named Denise claiming she was being abused by her husband.

“Denise, you do realize you are looking for psychological help with your abusive spouse in a government rulemaking docket about broadband, right,” Cassandra tweeted.

That was just a preview. In the aforementioned EAS docket, the FCC website proudly promotes one recent comment from Debra, who has yet to figure out how to type in the big box or how to get that caps lock off (we deleted some personally identifying information, although the FCC website retains it, warning the public in advance “the filing you are making is a public filing. Any information that you submit will be available to the general public.”):

Amidst filings from broadcasters, cable operators, equipment manufacturers, and various special interest groups, the very wide variety of submissions from John Q. Public ranged from sober and thoughtful to… well-down the rabbit hole.

A sampler, left unchanged from the originals, except to remove the names of the innocent and embarrassed:

The Anti-Government Crowd:

I think it is an Orwellian-type demonstration by the Federal Government to impose a nation-wide test of the EBS. A “test” would be at 2am. This is clearly a demonstration by the powers that be that government can and will seize power of all communications whenever they see fit.  In the event of a national disaster, the one voice that I want to hear certainly isn’t the government’s.

Those Who Watched that whole Jack Bauer “24” box-set in one weekend:

It concerms me that this annoucement gives terroists an opportunity to take advantage of the test, since no one will be looking for a real notice.

The “You Are Scaring Me” Corner:

Why in the world wouldn’t there be newspaper articles and cable and network news information regarding FCC/FEMAs “big plan?” Do you purposefully WANT to scare the living daylights out of senior citizens? Why would you warn only federal agencies? I beleive there is something more sinister going on that is related to this plan. I am going to make sure that everybody knows about it and that your offices are saying it will not say it’s a test. How interesting that it’s happening right now. If I don’t start seeing news about it in the paper and on TV/radio, I am going to raise hell. Do something now. So far, I have notified fire departments that had no clue, old age homes, and city hall. You people are crazy if you think I’m going to allow a panic in MY town.

The Guy With a Landlord Problem:

I must worst file million of complaints against U.S. HUD Park Tower Apartments, in Portland OR, that they tampered my Facebook that I posted my comments that I do not felt safely reside in this danger situation. I must go in the court at requests for bringing me in justice requests that Park Tower Apartments in foe issues involved with their Facebook addresses. […] (bad employees) made in huge banana noses and bad people of employees with Park Tower Apartments address report to the court immediateness. Please tell U.S. Homeland Security pulls me out of this evil housing addresses because of they used Facebook issues as their employees’ Facebook accounts. Please tell Facebook about Park Tower Apartments in bad employees addresses as notifies to U.S. Senators at requests. thank you for pulling me out of this dangerous housing immediateness!

A loon

The Man on the Run:

NYPd has informed feds that I’m not on their radar but keep getting stalked from place to place. Last place the fire alarms tripped like today was at 500 pearl, street. nyc aug 3, 2011. depts got caught doing this at 339 west 39th feb 28, 2010 . the eavesdropping device went from the phones to the fdny system because fed attys advised me they botched the police brutlaity case in the fbi . this is in court now

I Copyrighted EAS First and the Feds Violated It So I Am Suing for $87 billion

EAS infringes copyright as asserted in lawsuit: […] The ORDER directs the Clerk to issue summonses and directs the U.S. Marshal to serve the Defendants.

Defendants include twenty-four government agencies, government individuals, including Federal Communications Commission and nine corporations sued in the United States District Court Eastern District of Arkansas. The case cites organized theft of intellectual properties asserting the defendants are responsible for massive piracy of multiple copyrighted works that are generating billions of dollars in illegal proceeds in concert with private enterprises causing more than $87 billion dollars in damages to the legal owners of copyrighted intellectual properties.

[…]This case relates to letters by the Plaintiff requesting the United States Attorney General Eric Holder stop government theft of private intellectual property….

“People: the FCC cannot solve all your problems,” Cassandra tweeted. “They have enough of their own.”