An encounter with Shaw Cable’s technical support was chronicled by a Shaw broadband customer trying to reinstate service.  It seems her ‘roommate’ moved out, taking the modem with him.  That left her on the line with Shaw’s technical support trying to reinstate service with an older modem she still owned.  It wasn’t going well:

Edward [Shaw Technical Support]: Is there is splitter on this line?

Me: Um, yes but it worked with the previous modem…

Ed: Take the splitter off and plug the cable directly into the wall.

Me: Oh ok. (Grunting, tries to remove the splitter but it’s really on there good) Hey, Eddy, I can’t get this thing off. It’s totally stuck on there tight.

Ed: Don’t you have any tools?

Me: I have a hammer.

Ed: That’s not going to work.

Me: Yes, I’m aware of that.

Ed: Isn’t there anyone there that can help you?

Me: No.

Ed: So, nobody else is there? You’re alone?

Cole’s notes:
Yes, a hammer is my only tool.
Yes, I am single. And alone. Again.
Technically that’s not very supportive, Edward.